Monday, Jun. 06, 2005 - 9:46 a.m.
First day of Hurricane season. Doesn't do anything for me, although my roommate's dog had me half-awake at...oh God...4:40 in the morning.
One of the clients from our job gave me $50 for "having been a great secretary, and for always making me feel like you were always on top of things and that my case was a priority". Wow, most en will just say "Thanks, Violet". But $50 is just as good.
Can't find the right song for the mood I've been in. The seesaw is going down slowly this time. Haven't felt very "manic" lately but I feel the depression coming in; like when the sky outside starts to get grey and you start telling the kids to get inside.
Kids. That's funny. I never thought I'd be wanting them so much-hell, at all. I do though....want kids. Everyone tells me "Damn, your biological clock is ticking loudly", but as much as that's true so is the awful truth that it's June and I've been bleeding since the first week of March.
I've started to get those nightmares again. The one in which I'm sitting on the floor instead of the baby that Charlize Theron had seen in The Devil's Advocate, and my uterus was on my lap - bleeding all over the hardwood floor, and all the tiny blood clots look like fetuses.
I've been so weak that my body's been craving red meat. So, imagine that - a semi-vegitarian who's body is forcing her to eat red meat to keep from constantly fainting all over the place.
Every now and then when I eat it my body remembers that it doesn't like red meat and just as quickly as it went down it comes right back up. Not pretty. Not doing well at all.(6-1-05)
On a lighter note...my best friend and I took "the kids" to the movies. The kids being his niece and nephew and my nephew. His niece and my nephew are taking to each other quite well. It's kinda cute. We went to go see Madagascar. The movie was great. I really can't stand Ben Stiller, so I was glad that it was in the form of a cartoon and I didn't actually have to see him. And David Schwimmer ("Ross" from FRIENDS)did the voice of the giraffe. Defenitely my favorite character in the entire movie, even though the Lemurs were hilarious.
Wow, two completely different entries just squeezed together. Kinda scary.
