Friday, Jul. 22, 2005 - 9:38 a.m.
David: You want to come by some weekend? I've been meaning
to ask for a bit, but never seem to get around to it,
so I figure rather than wait a few more months and see
what happens in December, pick a weekend when your
free, and I'll cover the flight. You can stay longer
if you want, but I know your time off from work is
probably limited. We've managed to go long enough
without getting together, so if you want to come by
just check some flight listings and dates and let me know.
Violet:I actually choked on my morning coffee when I read this. At first I thought you had sent me a wrong e-mail because the first words I read were "You want to come by some weekend?". I thought you had forgotten where I lived for a second, but then I realized you were talking to me, and you were dead serious. David, you know I would love to go visit you but with the way my "vacation" time is set up I only have that week that I leave to N.Y. I figured it would be much easier to see you from there (I had already spoken to Alex about it).
He said that when we got there to get in contact with you and see how I'd go over to see you. I don't mean to sound like a little kid but I hope you can see why I have my reservations. It's not just because you're a guy because trust me, if a woman were to have sent me that same e-mail after what almost 5, 6 years of talking to her I'd still be a bit apprehensive.
Keep in mind that I've never been there and (insert the funny segway here) I'm kinda worried that the minute we meet after having some drinks or whatnot that you'll punish me for not being a very good subby (because of the whole phone thing). It's actually something that's crossed my mind plenty of times.
I also appreciate the fact that you said you'd "cover the flight", but that makes me feel like some bad golddigger or something because we both know I still haven't paid you back. Bad Violet. I know. I'm sorry about that. I'm actually still in shock. No one has ever offered to get me a ticket to visit them. I'm actually quite humbled, and even though I can't/don't have the guts to get up and visit you doesn't mean I won't see you. Write back.
Love, Violet
*Now to explain the severity of this e-mail this morning. About 5 or 6 years ago, when I used to do phone sex I met someone. He wasn't like the rest of my callers. He never once called for phone sex and that intrigued me. It was his first time calling and he had said that the first girl that came on the line was "obvious" that she was trying to act all worked-up and all he had said was "Hi".
He didn't want to talk about sex, he was looking for a submissive/slave. Enter mua. I was the second girl to get on the phone. Ever since the moment he was on the line I knew deep down he was a Master and we talked for as long as the credit card line stayed on, which was 32 minutes. After those minutes were over he called back 3 more times that night. By the end of the 4th call I was in tears. I mean I was mortified because I knew that some kind of sick and twisted friendship was evolving here.
You see I had been trying to get into the whole BDSM lifestyle for quite a while and never managed to find friends/acquaintances that were heavily into it. So unfortunately I thought I was never going to get a chance to test my fetishes/fantasies.
Now here's the problem (with me). I'm a lesbian and he knows this. I know there are Mistresses and Ladies but I've never met my match. I've never known a woman that can be as demanding and as stern as I've wanted but he seems to have the right edge. It's unabashed, painstakingly raw and pure and real.
I want the spankings, and the whippings and I know I'll crumble to pieces when I get scowlded and told that I've done something wrong. But I'm at point in my life that I don't want the superficial part of the lifestyle (the stilettos, the cheap handcuffs, the wax burns). I want the bites, the bruises, the ponytail pulling, the forcing on all fours at all times, the utter submission just to please my Master.
So that's that. And after all these years of sending each other pictures and talking everyday, that's right folks, everyday for almost 6 years, about twice a day. Mind you, he calls me, I don't have long distance on my cell phone. Folks...he lives in Cambridge, MA. I live in Miami, FL. I thought he wouldn't mind waiting until I got there in December, well actually N.Y. but I promised him I'd go see him this time. Last time I went to N.Y. I didn't get to see him, but this time I'm going for a whole week not 4 days.
This might sound crazy to some, but I really am anticipating the whole "What might happen", but then again he is still in fact a man, and I know that when he becomes stern I melt. I love to be told that I've been bad and that I need to be punished.
We've talked about what I won't do and thank God he doesn't do them either, and we have a lot of respect for each other and he knows where I drop the line.
He enjoys the whole bondage part a lot and he knows that I lean a lot towards the paddling, and spanking. We found some strange medium in between the two.
I'm just afraid that I might enjoy this meeting too much.
What do I do?
