Monday, Jan. 02, 2006 - 12:10 p.m.
Strangest Dream
A few weeks back on a Saturday night, I sat at a bar feeling lonely even though I had my best friend next to me. Her and the gorgeous Irish bartender hit it off (as expected) and I was kinda bored.
I don't beg, Atleast I'm not the type to, at least not outside of the bedroom but I asked you to come and meet up with me. I was almost certain that I was worth more than coffee on a lazy Sunday. I told you that, remember? Why couldn't I just for once be the 'drinks on a Saturday' girl?
You were hesitant. You never called me back and when I called you, you didn't answer my call. I felt like shit. You made me feel like total shit. Even now I wonder why I still give you the time of day. That night as I slept I had a dream or a nightmare. This is what I could recall.
I was sitting in a restaurant with Frances and I don't know how or when or even why it started but you were our waitress and when you realized I was your next customer you freaked. You were pale and your eyes were fixated on me. You didn't blink. Your eyes got watery. You completely ignored my best friend.
I don't know what I had done to you but you leaned over to me and you said, "You ordered the soup, didn't you?"
I didn't understand why that was of importance, so I just nodded and said "Yes. Why do you ask?"
You peered right at me as if I was a child that had done something wrong and said, "My hands might just s..l..i..p." The words came out so slowly. You walked away and disappeared into the restaurant's kitchen.
I remember leaning over to my friend, as if preparing her for the worse. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt her or me. I wanted the soup in me, not ON me.
The twist came when I heard a tray fall and another waitress came out from the same door that the other girl had gone in to. She let out this loud scream. Something was wrong. A red-headed waitress was telling the busboy, "The new waitress was holding a tray of hot soup when she just spilled it on herself...intentionally. It's as if she blanked out and wasn't really there. She didn't blink and was just standing in everyone's way. Everyones trying to put ice or butter on her and she hasn't even flinched."
I ran towards the kitchen before my friend could grab my arm. I walked in the back room and there you were, on the floor. You were mumbling something. I knelt down in front of you and this time I heard you say it. I got in closer and you said, "I told you my hand might slip".
It was this sick understanding that we somehow knew that we'd rather hurt ourself rather than each other.
*You know who you are, you know you're the one I called that night. The dream was pretty fucked up, but even Frannie knew it kinda made sense* (Lil 1/1/06)
