Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2008 - 9:59 a.m.
So it's Veteran's Day today, and while I'm sitting at my desk at the attorney's office where I've been working at for a little over 4 years, I hate to think of all the promises I had made for myself, all the New Year's Resolutions that weren't really made on New Years, that I've yet to achieve.
I don't recall when was the last time I wrote in here, or what I was going thru at that moment, but all I know is that when I write in here the words flow, like they used to, like they should...for a writer at least. I haven't called myself a writer in so long. I do say it whenever I run into old family members or people who once were close with my family. They always ask, "So what's new with you?" As if you're going to miraculously say that you just won the lottery and they just happen to be the person you wanted to run into so you can give them a big wad of that money.
See, that's the nonsense I've been writing lately, it doesn't flow, it's not full of metaphors, hell it's not even good. Whatever the case with me might be, I'll just do what I've been doing, and that's trying to use any little moment to write, even if it's a damn grocery list, but to get back in the habit of it. For now, I'll jsut continue to read anything by Neil Gaiman until this brain fart decides to subside.
My boyfriend, yes for those of you who remember me I'm still with a GUY. The same guy actually, but I'm not in love, that should make me sad but it doesn't. Anyways, he says that he feels to blame for my non-existent writing. I wrote so much more and better when I was feeling angry or betrayed. He says that since I tell him that he makes me happy that it's surely the reason I don't write anymore. I disaggree, but the last time I wrote at least something worth reading and about 3 pages worth was a day that I was on the verge of breaking up with him and I wanted to strangle him, so go figure, he might just have a point.
I should get back to work, even though I'd much rather stay here, writing all day until eventually something good came out of all of this.
